She could have gone to the debutante ball

Instead she chose roller derby

Her classmates roll their eyes and whisper "toxic" to each other as she passes by but she doesn't notice and, if she did, would it mean ANYTHING to her? THEY make the rules. THEY are the arbiters of taste and fashion. THEY demand obsequiousness. She hardly notices. And, when their paths DO cross, she is as genuinely cheerful with them as she is with her life-long friends. This drives them CRAZY! Worse still, her athletic prowess. Why couldn't it be tennis, golf, or some nice socially ACCEPTABLE sport where the mothers lovingly host teas after the event. But SHE is off with a DIFFERENT crowd. In HER sport they wear ROLLER SKATES and they don't call it a "meet" or a "match" or a "set." No, it's a "BOUT," like in boxing!!! Or WRESTLING!!! Good heaven, it's a CONTACT sport!!! Girls HIT each other!!! So INCREDIBLY unfeminine. So incredibly NOT the thing to do. So why do they secretly ADMIRE her and wish that they too get away with a bit of fun? But their mothers would freak. Their credit cards would be confiscated immediately and they would never SEE a cell phones again!!! So instead they roll their eyes in disapproval and whisper "toxic, that TOXIC woman" as she goes by because she has a life, a very lively one at that, that doesn't depend on THEIR approval. To honor such women of strong, independent spirit we've bottled our Toxic Cologne for Men in a Woman's spray bottle and labeled it "Toxic Woman." This is NOT a fragrance to wear to the office, a night club or a debutante ball. But, it you happen to participate in roller derby or other such sports that make a mother cringe, Toxic Woman may be just the ticket — if you're that special kind of woman!

Lester Frogge comments:

People try to guess what's in this fragrance (some would call it a stench) but so far only one woman we know has nailed it and she (a perfumer) was not the type of woman who would ever wear it. Yet people refer to the essential oil that gives Toxic Woman its distinctive smell as being "not disagreeable." It's a matter of taste but, after all, how tasteless can an essential oil be that has its roots (no pun intended) in the sunny south of France?

For my money (if I had money), my feelings are mixed because I can't help but LIKE it ... but I wouldn't like it every day. If you leave a bottle uncapped — or use it as a room or linen spray — in a short time you'll notice a faint smoky aroma in your space. Some find this a calming experience, like a fine aromatherapy blend. Others are not so keen on it, fearing heat from the anti-tabacco lobby.

If your nose is good, after you get over the shock of the super pungent top note (fried juniper you might call it ... or French fried juniper), you'll also notice a more gentle aroma of orchid, clove, and lily of the valley enshrouded in musk and embraced by a blend of exotic woody notes.

Now we should talk here a little about evolution. (Someday frogs may rule the earth!) But meanwhile there's Toxic Woman to discuss because, like all good perfumes, as the minutes tick by, it evolves or unfolds into a quite nice — but not quite socially "acceptable" — fragrance and even as each petal of the flower unfolds, each petal retains a distinctive whiff of that original French fried juniper top note.

Do I recommend it? First I would be required to ask, "Who are you?" You MAY be THE ONE and if you are, you've found your signature fragrance.

Of course I have to admit that if I were to wear it, my mother would jump in the lake.

She could have gone to the debutante ball

Instead she chose roller derby

Lester Frogge comments:

...and others comment too...